Raptors Reasonablists, Volume III, Part IV: Royal Rumble Reasonablists (2024)

Welcome to another edition of Raptors Reasonablists Royal Rumble Reasonablists with Eric Koreen and Blake Murphy. Throughout the year, Raptors staff writers Koreen and Murphy discuss hot-button issues surrounding the Raptors Royal Rumble, but with an even-keeled approach in pursuit of finding a reasonable middle ground. If we have faith in anything, it is that reasonable middle grounds lead to: a) workable long-term solutions; b) increased empathy and understanding for others; and c) more wins — at least more wins when they truly matter — probably. We hold these truths to be self-evident, and we hold these truths to be good truths.

The Pre-Show

Murphy: Eric, let me tell you the problem with American wrestling. Or one of the problems, rather. Because we all keep this kayfabe of time zones that shouldn’t actually exist, Japanese wrestling has the benefit of coming on in the middle of the night for us here, allowing for people like me to just roll right through from Raptors-Spurs I to Wrestle Kingdom. We’re not as lucky with WWE, and so we run into the second-greatest conflict of my career: the 2019 Royal Rumble overlapping with our latest look at the Raptors against Luka Doncic and perhaps our last look at Dirk Nowitzki. (The only greater travesty of scheduling was when Raptors-Magic, Raptors 905-Austin Spurs in the G League Finals and Wrestlemania all overlapped last year.)

We are nothing if not resourceful, though. The Royal Rumble demands it. And so here we are, skinning the cat as the NBA schedulers try to toss us out of the Royal Rumble coverage mix. For the next several hours, we’ll both be watching Raptors-Mavericks and the Royal Rumble, performing a live Reasonablists as we go. What we discuss will be entirely at the mercy of the entertainment in front of us. Doncic is catching fire? Well, Kofi Kingston just did his annual elimination-avoiding stunt. Ronda Rousey is defending her title? Well, Nowitzki just hit a one-legged fadeaway over Serge Ibaka. You get it. And obviously, the Raptors get preferential treatment in the event of a tie unless it involves Becky Lynch.

Let’s get ready to reasonablize.

Koreen: Before we get to predictions, Blake, I’ve had a few stray thoughts over the last few days. First of all, if Kyle Lowry were a wrestler, his finishing move would be Naomi’s immaculately named Rear View. (Although, in my opinion, “Rear End” would work even better.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34cNym-1TZg

Also, my beloved Shinsuke Nakamura is essentially the Cleveland Cavaliers. Last year at this time, he won the Royal Rumble to earn a title shot. This year, he’s in the pre-show, a signifier of storyline irrelevance. I will always be a devoted citizen of the United States of Nakamerica.

OK, let’s predict the biggest matches. Winning their respective championship matches I have Ronda Rousey, Asuka (after some Rousey chicanery), The New Daniel Bryan (after some help from some locally sourced vegetables) and Brock Lesnar. To win their respective Rumbles: Braun Strowman and Lynch, throwing herself into affairs.

I’m guessing the four Wrestlemania title matches will be Lesnar versus Strowman, Finn Balor versus A.J. Styles versus Bryan, Charlotte versus Asuka and Lynch versus Rousey. What are your thoughts?

Oh, and Raptors by 5.

Murphy: I have some off-board predictions for tonight. I agree with Rousey, Bryan and Lesnar winning their matches. I have Lynch over Asuka, though, with Charlotte winning the Rumble to set up a triple-threat with two titles at Wrestlemania. As for the men’s side, I really don’t have a good sense. Strowman makes a lot of sense, but I’ll go with Seth Rollins to be different.

Look at you, sticking with the Vegas line (Raptors -4.5). This feels like a palate-cleansing game to me, so I’ll go Raptors by a more decisive nine.

The Undercard

Koreen (6:57 p.m.): The setup: I’ve got my Google Doc that we’re writing this in and the Rumble (with volume) split screen on my laptop, and the Raps-Mavericks game on my TV without volume — apologies to Matt and Jack.

It has already been a big day for B. Murphys, as Buddy Murphy retained the cruiserweight title in the pre-show. I’m curious as to what you’re looking for with the Raptors tonight, though. As Nick Nurse said a few games ago, every time he thinks the Raptors are going in the right direction in a specific area — rebounding, transition defence, late-game execution — there is an example of the team taking a step back. As we often say in these parts, progress is not linear, but in some cases, it does not even seem like the Raptors are trending in the right direction.

A wrestling question: Why when they refer to Finn Balor do the announcers pronounce extraordinary differently when they talk about his slogan, “An extraordinary man who can do extra-ordinary things?” It makes no sense.

Murphy (7:04 p.m.): My setup is as follows: This document and the Raptors game split-screened on my computer because I am at a Rumble viewing party taking up the main screen. I also have a spreadsheet open to keep track of our Rumble pool and am working on a special Rumble-themed Moose drawing.

As for the Raptors, the first thing I’m interested in is whether the Raptors put Kawhi Leonard on Luka Doncic much. Doncic was really nice last time out and is, obviously, having a great rookie season, more or less locking up Rookie of the Year and setting an NBA record for fewest hairs out of place in a rookie season. More Nurse-focussed, I’m curious to see what the rotation looks like because he’s making it sound as if the last five rotation spots are now an open competition between seven guys, which will be interesting game-to-game. I also think it’s probably the point in the season where we can no longer give Nurse the “he’s experimenting” or “guys are in and out” caveats when evaluating his decisions. If he is saying he wants to get playoff-ready at this point, I think we can begin evaluating his choices more earnestly, which is exciting.

I can’t purport to know why WWE announcers do what they do and say what they say. We were joking during the pre-show about their insistence on beating over the head with phrases like “The Artist Nakamura!” or “The Monster Among Men” or whatever. For a company that insists on making every wrestling mononymous, it’s weird to also say every name with a full tagline. It’s WWE, is the answer.

One other pre-Rumble note: The wrestlers coming out of the Chase Field dugouts for entrances is extremely cool.

Koreen (7:06 p.m.): Injury notes: John Cena (ankle/load management/Hollywood) is out tonight, while Danny Green (wrist/hand) is in. We’ve got Lynch-Asuka to start things off, giving credence to my theory that Lynch will figure into the Rumble match itself later tonight. Lynch is wrestling in her traditional steampunk garb and not The Man t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and jeans.

Murphy (7:07 p.m.): Danny Green also just got hit with a ball while dancing in warmups.

Koreen (7:14 p.m.): Worse officiating in the NBA than the WWE so far, with Serge Ibaka getting a friendly shooting foul called on DeAndre Jordan.

Murphy (7:15 p.m.): I maintain that WWE has a bigger officiating problem than any other major sport. It says a lot that Curt Hawkins gets shifted into a referee role and in his first match is immediately the best referee in company history (no disrespect to Drake Wuertz).

Koreen (7:22 p.m.): A hot start for both contests, with Lynch and Asuka each putting on their signature submission moves around the ropes, while the Raptors have hit five 3-pointers in the first five minutes.

The reason I think Asuka might retain here is I’m just not sure what they do with her if she loses the title. But maybe that’s not just not a company priority. Speaking of young studs, Doncic has taken Leonard to the rim a couple times so far.

Murphy (7:27 p.m.): I have drawn numbers 10, 12, and 16 in my Rumble pool. I don’t love my chances.

You turned about to be correct on Asuka. It makes sense. Now they can have a separate woman’s ‘Mania program for the Smackdown title. And what I saw of that match owned, although Doncic-Leonard has captured far more of my attention so far. Leonard looks good, and as awesome as Doncic has been in the first quarter, I’m not sure the Mavericks have the pieces to hang if Leonard is in Lesnar Mode tonight.

Koreen (7:33 p.m.): Leonard has 12-5-2 through nine minutes. He and Lowry have both looked good, for those concerned they cannot possibly be good in the same game. Dirk has checked in for the Mavericks. Is he more Undertaker or Ric Flair?

Meanwhile, the second match is Team Daddy Issues (The Miz and Shane McMahon) versus The Bar. I’ve gotta think we’re heading toward some sort of Miz-Shane Wrestlemania program, and The Bar get a win as the heroes implode.

Nearing the end of the first quarter, both C.J. Miles and Delon Wright have yet to check in. Doncic just had a ridiculous running bank shot over Pascal Siakam’s outstretched arm. What a finish.

Murphy (7:34 p.m.): That Doncic finish was ludicrous. What a sweet, wonderful boy. Notable about that stretch, too, was that Siakam was the de facto centre — Greg Monroe appears to be out of the rotation early on here, with the Raptors option to go smaller against a Dallas unit with Nowitzki at the five. It will be interesting to see if Monroe gets any minutes against Jordan or somewhere else here. Chris Boucher is with the 905, so no Monroe means a chunk of minutes small.

Koreen (7:40 p.m.): Whoa, what an action to get Lowry a very good shot with about three seconds remaining in the quarter after Doncic hit some free throws. That won’t quiet the sentiment that Nurse is not a great play-caller, but that was some pretty sweet play-calling and execution.

It has been hard to watch Monroe lately. He’s certainly serviceable in some situations and can help calm down a bench unit that verges on disorganized and chaotic at times, but give me Siakam or Boucher as Ibaka’s backup for the most part.

Murphy (7:41 p.m.): Lowry’s confidence and rhythm shooting early on are encouraging. His numbers with Leonard out there remain a concern, even if it’s understandable with their (relative) lack of familiarity. That was an encouraging quarter in that regard.

Two random thoughts. One, I can’t stop thinking about Kassius Ohno biting Matt Riddle’s bare toes last night. And two, Shane McMahon looks too much like my dad for me to take these matches at all seriously. Seriously, my dad looks like a 5-foot-4 mix between Shane O’Mac and Yugi Nagata.

Koreen (7:48 p.m.):Can your dad do a Shooting Star Press off of the top ropes to secure the tag team titles? Because that’s what Shane just did. I did not see that coming. I still think they are heading for a one-on-one feud.

Meanwhile: Norm! He’s looked great since his return, and his attacking is really moving the Mavericks defence around. Delon Wright is back after a DNP-CD, and has one of the Raptors’ 10 (!!!) 3-pointers.

Murphy (7:55 p.m.): My dad can barely tie his shoes until his hip replacement comes through, so I think a Shooting Star Press is out. I’d have to carry that tag-team in a similar fashion, not that I haven’t had plenty of practice (thank you).

Wright being back in and Powell playing well would point to Miles being the odd-man out tonight unless the rotation expands beyond expectations. I don’t think Miles “deserved” to draw out, but they didn’t really work to get him involved when he played Friday, and if they’re not going to do that, Wright’s ball-handling and defensive utility make more sense (he also works better in these smaller units where he’s running the offence). To use a Dwane Caseyism, this will probably remain fluid.

Are the augmented reality things on the Rumble broadcast really messing you up, too? I’m imagining the Raptors broadcast coming back from commercial with a giant floating (augmented) FVV symbol.

Koreen (8:02 p.m.): Or Leonard coming out through a flashing Klaw symbol. In fact, it’s hard to believe the Raptors haven’t done that yet at a home game.

I like the approach of keeping the final rotation spot fluid. It’s not ideal, but you don’t want to bury a guy for the sake of burying him. Just try to read the matchups, see where your weaknesses on any given night will be and go from there.

A pretty prototypical Wright run: a 3-pointer, a crafty layup, a blown layup, a turnover and a block in transition. At times, he is the Chris Boucher of guards — things happen when he has the ball, both good and bad.

Meanwhile, we’ve got Sasha Banks-Rousey here, which I’m excited for because I like hearing WWE colour commentator Corey Graves run down Banks for no reason. I enjoy Banks’s work, but this feels like a temporary shot in the title picture until she moves to the tag team scene.

Murphy (8:05 p.m.): I agree, leave the burying to Vince McMahon. Agreed on Banks’s future, and I think this match is a smart holdover for Rousey because it will likely be quite good and further legitimize her against one of the best in the company.

Also quite good: Lowry is everywhere in this first half. He’s already a plus-14, tracking for a double-double, shooting with confidence and generally doing the little Lowry things that only Lowry provides. Very nice half for him and the Raptors feel like they might be a strong start to the third quarter from taking control of this one and letting us focus on the two title matches and Royals Rumble.

Halftime/Intermission

Koreen (8:13 p.m.): I’d just like to complain about Rousey being able to body slam Banks immediately after she was in an arm bar/Banks statement for 90 or so seconds. Who books this trash?

Meanwhile, the Raptors lead 70-58 at the half. A very promising offensive half. The shot-making from deep was the biggest thing, but the ball was zipping around and rebounding was not at all a problem, despite the presence of Jordan. And just two turnovers in the first half after 20 against the Rockets, probably the decisive factor in Friday’s game.

Murphy (8:15 p.m.): I understand the lack of selling as a point of frustration. It’s something that stood out from Takeover, where Aleister Black sold his leg so well all night and Johnny Gargano is a master of the in-ring story. Even with that complaint, I thought Rousey beating Banks was pretty good for a match we knew the outcome of ahead of time.

Now it’s time for the women’s Royal Rumble!

Elsewhere, it remains perplexing that Doncic went third and someone was able to acquire that pick. He’s so good. That’s my big hard-hitting first-half analysis.

Koreen (8:28 p.m.): That means we’re finishing with three men’s matches: the two title bouts and the men’s Royal Rumble. They better let the woman’s Raw title main event Wrestlemania, which for the first year in many will not conflict with the Raptors thanks to a noon start time for the Raps on Fanapalooza day.

I see they’re using the first spot to allow Lacey Evans to cut her welcome-to-the-main-roster promo. Do you have any opinions about her from her NXT run?

Murphy (8:29 p.m.): I don’t, no. Honestly, I was surprised she was getting the main roster nod so early. She was pretty unestablished and was sort of just starting to find the stride with the character. With that said, it’s a character that’s pretty tailor-made for the main roster, and as long as she continues to show progress in the ring, I don’t see why she can’t be a piece for the division. Moderately high floor as a heel.

Koreen (8:31 p.m.): The officials continue to struggle in Dallas, as DeAndre Jordan gets some generous continuation. Mavericks start the second half on a 6-0 run as the Raptors have missed four straight shots, all 3-pointers, to start the quarter.

Danny Green seems nonplussed with the whistle Doncic is getting tonight. Green has been displeased with the officiating all year long.

Murphy (8:38 p.m): I wish the Raptors’ bigs would do a better job contesting floaters when they drop back so deep in pick-and-roll. I think that would make Green — who is consistently trying to force ball-handlers to their off-hand and then fighting over top, inviting that high-paint space — happier. I know it’s a smart strategy in the aggregate because those 8-to-12 foot shots are such a low-value proposition, but as E’Twaun Moore, James Harden and now Doncic have shown, there’s room to improve how they actually contest those low-value looks they willingly yield. I digress.

The Raptors have started the third quarter about as flat as this rumble match has. Going to concede the “The Doors halftime speech” joke to you here, Enemy of The People (With Bad Musical Tastes).

Koreen (8:40 p.m.): More aggressive: Nikki Cross entering the Royal Rumble or Kawhi in transition to get the Raptors their first bucket of the quarter?

Contesting floaters has been a problem since the Raptors changed up their defensive strategy last year. I just don’t think it’s super fixable, especially since part of the reason they hang back is to be in better position for defensive rebounds, which is also a problem for the Raptors’ defence.

Murphy (8:46 p.m.): I love Cross so much.

And that’s kind of the thing about the floater contests: The strategy should help them contest around the rim (it absolutely does, as they’re once again a top-five at-rim defence) and rebound (it does not, though that might be a personnel thing more than scheme). As a self-check, I looked at their defensive field-goal percentage in floater range (4-to-14 feet), and they’re right in the middle of the pack, so it’s not that big a deal. I guess my eye test fails here.

Koreen (8:49 p.m.): Nothing in the Rumble match has caught me so far. The Raptors’ offence is also sputtering, and they seem distracted by the officiating. This isn’t the quick put-away quarter we were hoping for so we could focus on the most important thing tonight — a series of predetermined events.

Wes Matthews is showing some life, and the Mavericks have a two-point lead. The Raptors have eight points and no baskets in the half-court this quarter. This is problematic.

Evans and Natalya Neidhart still have shots to go bell-to-bell here.

Murphy (8:59 p.m.): The offence has been very, very bad. They have gone to their “stand around and watch Leonard” set a quarter early! And hey, Leonard just earned his second career regular-season technical because, well, Tony Brothers. That about sums up how this third quarter has gone.

And now they’re trying to fix it with Moose, which, sometimes, OK, but here? I’m skeptical. I did draw this though:

A special Royal Rumble edition: Ultimo Alce. (Moose in a Psicosis mask.) pic.twitter.com/CPoubtvqQp

— Blake Murphy (@BlakeMurphyODC) January 28, 2019

Maria and Mike Kanelis may be completely unused at this point but they still have the best entrance music. As someone who is terminally single, the “we are SO in love, isn’t it adorable?” gimmick is perfect heeling.

Koreen (9 p.m.): Just a disastrous quarter there for the Raptors, and the Mavericks head into the final frame up three. The offence imploded and then their focus just disappeared. Really disappointing. This game has felt like the season: just a completely uneven performance with flashes of brilliance.

Speaking of brilliance, Doncic is three assists away from a triple-double.

The Main Events

Koreen (9:03 p.m.): These are the moments when the Raptors could use some prime Lowry, right? The smallest man on the floor, with J.J. Barea injured, has to have the biggest impact.

On cue, 4-foot-11 Zelina Vega comes into the Rumble.

Murphy (9:14 p.m.): Big Vega fan. Also a big fan of her coming out in Vega cosplay. She and Candice was a fun moment in a ho-hum Rumble so far. And Rhea Ripley! And an absolutely ridiculous stay-in-the-match spot from Kacy Catanzaro! The match is really picking up.

The Raptors showed a flash of doing the same with Lowry and Ibaka back before letting VanVleet run things too much, and goodness is Doncic ever bullying Powell. I’m in a weird spot with this game, as it feels frustrating and entirely winnable, but all of the problems that have materialized are ones I’ve written about of late.

They don’t look like a team tonight that has the same urgency Nurse spoke about over the weekend. Maybe the Bucks looming Thursday will help that ratchet up during three days off?

Koreen (9:18 p.m.): I blame The Doors for the lack of urgency. Also, Doncic has just been sensational. I think you need to get Leonard in here ASAP and tell him to go make his life hellish.

Meanwhile, Lowry is back at it, hitting a pair of 3-pointers to tie the game. He’s got five in a game for the first time since late-November in Memphis. You’re right: There have been some discouraging signs, and regardless of the result, the game isn’t going to allay those with fears. But Lowry coming off screens cleanly at the top of the arc and shooting with confidence is huge.

They still seem to be resisting putting Leonard on Doncic in pick-and-roll scenarios. He is feasting.

Murphy (9:25 p.m.): Not only feasting. Doncic just became the first TEEN in NBA history to post a 30-point triple-double. That feels fairly remarkable. At least the offence has picked up some, with Ibaka hitting that elbow jumper and Siakam drawing an and-one in the post. And, naturally, Doncic can’t post up Lowry, a lesson every rookie learns at some point.

This Rumble and Raptors-Mavericks are going to come down to the wire together. AND HERE COMES BECKY.

Koreen (9:30 p.m.): I can’t deal with this, Blake. Lynch and Charlotte as co-winners with the Bret Hart-Lex Luger finish is totally on the table.

Finally, we’re getting a nice Raptors close. A nice floater from Green off of effective ball movement, a bulldog drive by Leonard and some great containment of Doncic to finally cause the rookie to look like a rookie. Two bricks from Harrison Barnes at the stripe helped. This looks over.

Murphy (9:36 p.m.): Man, Matthews did not have an answer for Leonard. That was a pretty solid close-out for Toronto, even if the 20 minutes or so to take them there were objectionable. They went to the Leonard-Lowry pick-and-roll twice — Lowry is probably the team’s best screener with Valanciunas out — and once it led directly to a Green bucket. They also found success just feeding Leonard in the high post to go to work. And some more zone defence worked out!

Doncic did his damndest, but in the end, the Raptors’ hot 3-point shooting (17-of-34, a top-10 3-point shooting night in team history) was too much. Credit to the Mavs for making it a fight.

This Rumble match started off so poorly and was complete fire for the last 15-20 minutes. Lynch is so, so good. This story — Lynch’s entire rise, her history with Flair, Rousey hanging over everything — has been so well done. Whether it’s Lynch-Rousey or a triple-threat, this (right now) deserves to be the ‘Mania main event.

Koreen (9:44 p.m.): And she did it without me wearing my The Man tee. Impressive. They didn’t make any new stars in the Rumble, but they set up WM perfectly. I really think they should go Charlotte-Asuka, with Asuka trying to avenge Charlotte ending her undefeated streak at last year’s event, and Lynch-Rousey to close. That would be awesome.

Meanwhile, the Bucks lost in OKC tonight, and that puts them into a tie with the Raptors in the standings, although the Bucks have the winning percentage advantage. Thursday’s game will be huge: it will determine whether the Bucks get the season tie-breaker or it ends up in a 2-2 tie, and could also put one or the other into first in the conference.

We’ve got three matches left: Bryan-Styles, Lesnar-Balor and the men’s Rumble.

Murphy (9:50 p.m.): The Bucks game on Thursday will also likely determine whether Nurse or Mike Budenholzer coach in the All-Star Game. The Bucks have three games before the Feb. 3 cutoff, the Raptors two, and the teams are tied (with Milwaukee having the winning percentage edge) right now. So there’s that, too.

Koreen (9:53 p.m.): Actually, if the Raptors go 2-0 in those games and the Bucks go 2-1, the Raptors will have a .722 winning percentage and the Bucks will be at .725. Rough.

Murphy (9:54 p.m.): Well, if the Raptors lose that game, they have no shot at it, so, it still kinda matters. Insomuch as any of these things matter.

Koreen (9:57 p.m.): We’ve got Bryan-Styles here. I think this title is the hardest one to book forward to Wrestlemania. I know there have been rumours that Styles is headed for a reduced workload, but as long as he’s in the company, he needs to be in a primary spot. Maybe he feuds with Undertaker or something if he loses this match?

Murphy (10:03 p.m.): I can’t imagine what the Styles-Taker story would be, but I’m at a loss for what else he could do. Maybe you give Shinsuke one more shot at a good match and give them the U.S. Title spot on Mania? That seems repetitive and underwhelming. He’s recently done Samoa Joe, too.

Do you think it’s possible at all that they do a mini-shakeup before ‘Mania to freshen up some matchups?

Koreen (10:07 p.m.): I suppose it’s possible, but these things usually happen post-Wrestlemania, not beforehand. Maybe Styles takes significant time off now and comes back full-time once FOX begins to air Smackdown in September, although most wrestlers want to take part in ‘Mania for the prestige and the cheque.

The crowd seems dead for this match, through no fault of the wrestlers. It is a slower match, but following a big Becky Lynch moment these days is an unenviable task.

Murphy (10:10 p.m.): Yeah, I thought the sequencing of the card was a bit strange, where they have the two Rumbles and two title matches late. For me, it’s been perfect, since it timed well with Raptors-Mavericks, but live that feels exhausting.

Koreen (10:18 p.m.): A predictable schmoz ending, although the details were unpredictable: Erick Rowan comes down to ringside and waits until the referee is down to interfere. I don’t know what precisely this is leading to — some environmental faction? — but I know it takes a lot to render a Bryan-Styles match boring, but they somehow accomplished it.

This show is gonna be four-and-a-half hours, by the way.

Murphy (10:23 p.m.): I was about to say, if you found THAT to be predictable, you are levels ahead of me here. I don’t think it’s unrealistic to think Bryan’s message of anti-consumption, anti-capitalism, anti-boomer message would have resonated with Rowan, whomst they established during his singles run as a super-intelligent loner. And in Bryan, he’s found a powerful and like-minded voice.

Now, I have no idea where they go with this from here. I miss my close personal friend Luke Harper. The SmackDown side of everything is a pretty big question mark right now, which I guess is fine and kind of fun with Elimination Chamber in a few weeks.

A minor complaint about our well-ripped pal Finn: I need a kayfabe explanation for the lack of The Demon in a title match like this. I know he’s explained it in out-of-character interviews, but they have to explain on-camera what’s up here. If he has control of it, why the hell would he not bring The Demon out for a title match, since The Demon is undefeated on the main roster? Is there a cost to him, psychologically, for bringing it out? Does it become harder to control as he’s The Demon more and more? And if he doesn’t have control of it, well, we should know that, too.

Koreen (10:30 p.m.): I was about to write about the same thing. Grudge match against Baron Corbin in a mid-card feud? The Demon is there. Title match for the belt he won and had to give up a day later because of injury against a man who is like three times as wide as he is? Nah, the leather jacket will do.

Look at us, trying to provide logic to a situation in which a character in a fictional universe turns into a supernatural version of himself. We’re using our talents for only the most important issues.

Murphy (10:31 p.m.): We also need a kayfabe explanation for when Lowry becomes KLOE.

Koreen (10:31 p.m.): That only happens when the bear is poked, Blake.

Murphy (10:42 p.m.): I liked that a lot for a Lesnar match. He sold like crazy for Balor, which I think made Balor look on the level despite the tap-out loss. Balor is so good. Obviously, your mileage will vary with Lesnar and this type of match, but on the Lesnar scale, I thought that was pretty good. And now we get to find out who he’ll face at WrestleMania…

The Road to Wrestlemania

Koreen (10:46 p.m.): I thought that was a really well-told in-match story, with a realistic Lesnar injury and Balor looking like gold. And it’s nice to see a match from Lesnar that doesn’t end with an F5, although he broke it out in his post-match beatdown of the worthy challenger. I hope Balor gets to hang around the title picture, but the finish only enhances my belief that Strowman is about to win this Rumble and have a months-long feud with Lesnar, Heyman and Vince McMahon.

Who else can realistically win this? Drew McIntyre, Seth Rollins, a surprise entrant … and I think that might be it. Even with McIntyre, I’m not sure what the match would be there.

Murphy (10:50 p.m.): I think there are probably a few other off-board ones they could tell stories around (Ambrose, Orton, Joe, etc), but I think those are probably the big three. I had talked myself into The Demon entering the Rumble earlier in the day but then I googled and apparently, it takes him hours to get into the paint, so that’s out.

I have a feeling this will be a little underwhelming, but here we go, led off by J-E-Double F J-A-Double R-E-Double T in a VERY revealing multi-strapped shirt.

Koreen (10:57 p.m.): I really thought they might perform a duet. I’m not sure Jarrett is in fighting shape, Blake. But at least we got the guitar smash from Elias. How much do you think Double-J got paid for that?

Murphy (10:59 p.m.): He probably eschewed a paycheque in order to be able to huck Global Force Gold on the WWE Network at 4 a.m.

OK, I take back the thing about augmented reality. The New Day one was amazing.

Koreen (11:03 p.m.): I’ve long been a proponent of a Big E title run. I know there are reasons why it won’t happen, mainly because The New Day is so profitable for the country (company?) in its current placement, but he’s totally over and you can buy him as a legitimate threat.

Also, The New Day’s pancake consumption would be a great counter for Bryan’s current character.

Murphy (11:09 p.m.): I’ve long been a proponent of a Kofi title run, and so I think the solution here is obvious: New Day win the title and use the Freebird Rule to defend it.

By the way, I landed Kofi and Rollins in my Rumble pool (plus a TBD), so I’m feeling good right now. I also want an Elias shirt. (I’m wearing a “Heenan School of Broadcast Journalism” shirt tonight, by the way.)

Koreen (11:16 p.m.): Huge draw! All you want is a chance. My buddy has the same Heenan tee as you do. Of course, we’re all part of the consumption problem that Bryan has been talking about.

Big E is already out. Nobody ever listens to my ideas.

Murphy (11:17 p.m.): My third pull was McIntyre. So Rollins, Kofi, McIntyre. If I don’t win the pool, I’m confident I’ll have the best xRumble, my advanced stat for expected Rumble wins based on pre-match inputs. On that Cam Charron.

Koreen (11:22 p.m.): That was some amusing elimination-avoiding from Kingston, but I still think the WWE can use The New Day more effectively. They are fun, but they can be fun and legitimate contenders. They’re all out now, at the hands of McIntyre.

I’m enjoying Mustafa Ali’s early days on the main roster, by the way. He’s a lot of fun.

Murphy (11:25 p.m.): Man, I’ve been trying to tell everyone about how good he and Buddy Murphy (who in Twitter kayfabe is me, remember) are. They may have had the feud of 2018, with a handful of the best matches on WWE television. He’s the purest of babyfaces and by all accounts a pretty easy to root for dude out of the ring, too. I’m likewise pleased with how the call-up has gone so far. Think he could be a real player.

And we get Pete Dunne and Aleister Black! Love these NXT cameos in the Rumble the last couple of years.

One of the guys at this viewing party brought a bag of candy bananas. Like, from Runts, but it is ONLY the banana pieces. It’s amazing.

Koreen (11:30 p.m.): Our first terrible not-quite botch comes with Black eliminating Dean Ambrose, but Ambrose being too far away from the ropes. Accordingly, Ambrose pretty much just leaped over the top rope on his own accord.

Disappointed by the lack of Andrade spots in this match. He’s awesome, too. But I guess with the NXT cameos you can only push so many other young guys who aren’t going to win the match.

Strowman still isn’t in. He’s definitely winning.

Murphy (11:32 p.m.): Yeah, I know they have to get everyone in and get everyone’s spots and it’s unrealistic for just our favourites to go off, but Andrade didn’t really have A Moment. Until he eliminates Mysterio shortly, that is.

Two things that will stick with me: Samoa Joe’s “I’m gonna kill you” face at Ali and Baron Corbin taking off a button-up shirt to reveal another button-up shirt underneath.

Koreen (11:36 p.m.): Bobby Lashley comes in and is promptly eliminated by Rollins. I’m not really sure if that happened as intended. Is it possible Lashley slipped off the ropes and then dragged Rollins out of the rings to beat him up to advance a storyline that was supposed to be told in the ring? I don’t know. It just looked awkward, is all.

Strowman checks in at no. 27. Another favourite, McIntyre, is eliminated by his old friend, Dolph Ziggler. Maybe that’s a bone for the reportedly unhappy Ziggler.

Murphy (11:38 p.m.): No. 27 is the winningest spot in Rumble history, if I recall correctly. Big for your chances here.

I used to love Ziggler. I thought his double-turn with Del Rio back in 2012 or 2013 was incredibly well done. I’m beyond bored with his “I’m always leaving, HA, worked you, marks” shtick. I just don’t care now. He’s painfully mid.

Koreen (11:43 p.m.): Wow: Nia Jax assaults R-Truth at No. 30 and enters the match for herself. So the winner will come from the group of her, Rollins, Mysterio, Andrade, Ali, Ziggler and Strowman.

This is a fun spot.

Murphy (11:47 p.m.): I feel less good about it than you do, for reasons that probably aren’t worth getting into here. I do wonder if this opens the window for more man-woman stuff, particularly with mixed tags and in NXT where it would have served the storyline well a few times (most noticeably with Candice, who built her brand in part by wrestling men). Anyway, convo for another time.

We’re down to Braun, Andrade, Ziggler and an out-on-the-table Rollins. I would love if they surprised us with Andrade, as he is Extremely Good and Cool.

Koreen (11:50 p.m.): Andrade would be my pick, too, but there’s no logical Wrestlemania match there. It’s got to be one of the two faces, and I still think it’s going to be Strowman because they’ve been delaying his title push forever.

Murphy (11:51 p.m.): I think the plan with an Andrade win would be to have him go under Mysterio’s tutelage and slowly go face between now and the proper ‘Mania build. Complicated and maybe a little messy, but Andrade-Bryan would be nuts. Alas, there he goes.

Koreen (11:52 p.m.): Final two of Strowman-Rollins. This isn’t the logical way for a babyface to win a Rumble. Usually, he’d have to overcome two or more guys attacking him.

Murphy (11;52 p.m.): I win the pool! Rollins is going to Wrestlemania! Apron Curb Stomp to eliminate Strowman.

Koreen: Cool ending. They could work an interesting program with either Bryan or Lesnar, but I would guess Lesnar as Roman Reigns’ old buddy fights against the champion he couldn’t stand.

Overall, a pretty good show, huh? I think the Lynch-Asuka match was probably the in-ring highlight, but the only true dud for me, weirdly, was Bryan-Styles.

Murphy: I enjoyed it, yeah. With these overlap events, it’s hard to ever know how I felt about the matches, like last year with ‘Mania. I thought the back half of the women’s Rumble and Becky-Asuka were the best parts. The Mania card still has a lot of uncertainty, which makes tomorrow night’s Raw pretty must-see. They have some heavy lifting to do still.

Koreen: And with the Raptors not playing again until Thursday, we can focus on the realest fake sport there is with limited distractions. It is hard to figure out what Bryan and Strowman do at WM right now. That’s the biggest question mark for me. I am not interested in seeing a program between the two of them. Maybe Rollins does pick Bryan and Strowman fights Lesnar after all. I don’t think that would be a natural kayfabe decision for Rollins, but it does put each main title match in good hands.

It’s only 70 days until Wrestlemania, not to mention the Raptors’ home finale against the Heat.

Murphy: Well, Eric, the nice thing on all fronts here is that time is on our side. WWE has until April 7 to tell the rest of these stories and get us hooked for Wrestlemania. This is the best time of the WWE calendar, and while disappointments from years past are always in the back of our minds, we’ll surely find ourselves excited in 10 weeks time. The Raptors have even longer, with The Grandest Stage Of Them All, the NBA playoffs, beginning the weekend following. That doesn’t feel like a lot of time to sort out rotations and late-game chemistry, but we’ve only just begun…

/points dramatically at WrestleMania sign

(Top photo:Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports)